June 29th

2008.06.30.08:20

June 29 is our wedding "ceremony" anniversary. We had our marriage registered on April 29, 2002 and had our wedding ceremony two months later.

Actually, we had not decided if we would have any kind of wedding party when we registered our marriage. Initially we were not going to, then I started saying, "My mother wants to see me in a wedding dress."

I didn't meant to, but it was enough to stress my husband out, who had already been getting tired of all the wedding fuss. All his weekends at that time were totally booked up to look for our new apartment and get ready for the move. He simply said, "I cannot think about it now. Let's get things done one at a time."

After we settled into our new apartment, I brought up the subject again. My husband said, "It's all up to you. You decide and let me know." I, on the other hand, thought for this kind of important matter both of our opinions should be reflected. I now understand when he says this, he really means it, and I will say, "Right, I'll decide, but don't complain later." However, at that time, it seemed to me he was not taking it as his own problem, and I could not stand it. We had a couple of quarrels over the "wedding ceremony". I couldn't believe he didn't have any opinion about his own wedding, and he couldn't believe I could do as I pleased and still complained. Well, as the book says, we are definitely from different planets.

I still can't believe that we survived the two months between our official wedding day and the day we had the ceremony. Both of us had to work late on weekdays, and that left us only 16 days (8 weekends) to prepare. In retrospect, it was good that he didn't have any opinion about the ceremony, as there was no time to discuss things. I decided every detail by myself and eventually realized it was the way to make our marriage work. This agreement still applies to our everyday life, and I believe it brings the best result!



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